nightmare

i'm too pissed off to put a quote as a title for this blog.
i don't give a rats ass about quotes right now.
you wanna know why?
i'll fucking tell you.
i came home today, after ice skating last night then sleeping over michele's.
it was fun, i was happy.
i come home, eat, talk with the rents, then go upstairs into my room.
i go to my laptop and turn it on.
i'm then looking at a blue screen with white writing.
basically telling me my laptop has died.
i didn't care at first.
meh, going to uncles in a few days, he'll fix it, i have no important files so who cares.
then like, an hour or so later i realize.
i have two, very, very important files on that piece of junk.
my book and it's blurb.
i've been working on it since last year.
i've spent so much time and effort on just the first chapter alone.
changing it numerous times to get it as close to perfection as possible.
i wrote a blurb that i was actually proud of.
and now it's gone?
all my time. effort. imagination. creativity. work.
gone.
just like that.
i was planning to really write alot in it on these holidays.
i've had alot of ideas to add.
and now...
i can't start again.
people are telling me to.
but it's not that easy.
no where near that easy.
i'm on the verge of either destroying everything in this room,
or to having a mental break down.
and just when i thought things were getting better.
this is so fucked up.