nightmare

i'm too pissed off to put a quote as a title for this blog.
i don't give a rats ass about quotes right now.
you wanna know why?
i'll fucking tell you.
i came home today, after ice skating last night then sleeping over michele's.
it was fun, i was happy.
i come home, eat, talk with the rents, then go upstairs into my room.
i go to my laptop and turn it on.
i'm then looking at a blue screen with white writing.
basically telling me my laptop has died.
i didn't care at first.
meh, going to uncles in a few days, he'll fix it, i have no important files so who cares.
then like, an hour or so later i realize.
i have two, very, very important files on that piece of junk.
my book and it's blurb.
i've been working on it since last year.
i've spent so much time and effort on just the first chapter alone.
changing it numerous times to get it as close to perfection as possible.
i wrote a blurb that i was actually proud of.
and now it's gone?
all my time. effort. imagination. creativity. work.
gone.
just like that.
i was planning to really write alot in it on these holidays.
i've had alot of ideas to add.
and now...
i can't start again.
people are telling me to.
but it's not that easy.
no where near that easy.
i'm on the verge of either destroying everything in this room,
or to having a mental break down.
and just when i thought things were getting better.
this is so fucked up.

of all animals, man is the only one that is cruel.

i want a world like the ones in final fantasy.
i want chocobos and aeons to exist.
how kick ass would it be to be a sphere hunter, or a summoners guardian, or a summoner?
or to have chocobo farm or to have an airship?
or to play freaking blitz ball!

if that's too much to ask for,
fine, i understand.
BUT WILL YOU FREAKING SEND ME MY DAMN HOGWARTS LETTER ALREADY!